AFRAID: 31 days of 5-minute free writes

Sometimes, when we have news we don’t want to give, we say, “I’m afraid that’s just not going to work out.

Have you ever thought about the little (or big, I guess) insertion of “afraid” there?

We do it to show that we know the news is not going to be taken well.

However, depending on the news, sometimes if we were being honest we would leave out the “afraid” part.

It’s probably a relic of some antiquated way of phrasing things.

But … maybe we owe it to ourselves to figure out how to be more straightforward.

There ARE times when it really is the better part of valor to spare someone’s pride, I know.

But there are also times when we need to speak our truths.

I can’t believe I’m writing this, because I know how hurt I would be (and have been) after quite a few sentences that began with, “I’m afraid … [insert bad news here — you didn’t get the job, you didn’t get the part, you don’t have enough money for what you want, etc.]”

However, from the side of things being the message-giver, I think the most courageous thing we can do in those times is to compassionately give someone the gift of truth. Maybe that will help them (and you) grow.

“No, you weren’t selected for the job. However, I’d like to share some feedback about your interview and background that factored into our decision. Perhaps I could connect you with…